Please don't call it a vacation

Ok, so another trip, this time to Tampa, Florida… plus El Paso, San Antonio, Houston, and Albuquerque, if you count all the stops on the Southwest party plane. I was there to man (woman?) a booth at the AAHPERD conference – American Alliance for Health, Physical Education, Recreation and Dance. We have a lot of exercise science, physical education and sports management books, and this is a big conference for that area. The meeting attracts both dance/PE teachers and our market, the teachers of those teachers (Kinesiology and Physical Education professors).

It was pretty fun to be in that exhibit hall, as there was a lot of sports equipment and all kinds of trendy treats for teachers to use in their classes, like a treadmill-style rock climbing wall, crazy balance boards, rollerblade rentals
(with helmets, elbow pads, knee pads AND shin guards, to ward off any sue-happy parents), an off-brand DDR game, and pads that track your heart rate throughout an aerobics routine. A long way from those little boards with wheels that we’d roll down the playground on (but those were awesome).

It’s funny because most of the people there were dressed in workout clothes, or the PE teacher uniform of choice, tight shorts and a white T-shirt. It made the professors stand out, thankfully, and made the grad students doing presentations stand out, since they were the only ones dressed up.

We were right next to the demo area, so I got in some workout moves when no one was looking. And one, and two…

Tampa was beautiful, palm trees, waterfronts, and sea birds. There was supposedly manatees in the area, but sadly I didn’t get to see any. Unfortunately, they overbooked the hotel I was supposed to stay in, so I spent my nights at the airport Marriott, watching the planes come in. They compped my room, though. It was strange because the hotel opened right into the airport, so at night I would stroll around and look at the souvenir shops and eat at the airport restaurants before heading up to bed.

Anyway, it was busy and exhausting, I felt like I was in "jazz hands" mode the whole time (our big goal is to get professors interested in adopting our books, because then students have to buy our books and that's where the money comes from) but I generally enjoyed it. Pats on the back for all!

Lately, when I go somewhere, I ask myself, “Could I live here?” Or when I talk to someone who has been living elsewhere, I’ll ask about whether they like it there, what’s there to do, the weather (very important), etc. Who knows where work and life will take me, so I’ve been trying to figure out my boundaries on places to live. Of course, we all have dream places (may I drool for a moment over northern California, well, actually anything from San Francisco up to Seattle? And while I’m at it, Denver?) and places that we’d very much like to avoid (sorry, but the Dakotas do not appeal for so many reasons) but it’s a big country with lots of possibility. Anyway, I did like the time I spent in Tampa, and could say “sure.” Of course, this is before experiencing its humidity in conjunction with summer heat. It’s like someone deciding to live in AZ without bearing through a toasty July. But it certainly was beautiful, and the people were generally nice (Southern hospitality? You know, I don’t consider Florida the south, even though it’s about as south as it can get.)

Of course, one of the best parts of traveling is… SkyMall! For those of you who haven’t flipped through one lately, I will present some of the best treats from the “Late Spring 2009” edition.

Kristi, I still owe you the hot dog cooker.


I realize that this is probably very comfortable, but can you imagine whipping this out and setting it up on a plane?


This guy also is rocking an awesome plane sleeping ensemble. He looks like the Don Juan of Seat 19C.


Just when you thought texting while driving is bad, how about conducting your entire office business? This still doesn’t beat the guy I saw practicing drums with two drum sticks while driving.


Once you get in an accident from working-while-driving, you can use this contraption. This makes me think of an old timely remedy. Or like cartoons when they have a tooth ache and wrap their head.


Does anyone else immediately picture this all falling on the car?


This just looks enormously tasty.


This does not look as tasty, but for all you wannabe cowboys, or those who are just really possessive about your steak.


This just wins for most gratuitous bandwagon use of the “i” style. It’s called the iWallet. Why? Because, “Beauty is in the ‘i’ of the wallet.” Groan. It also gets a gold star for claiming it will make yourself a conversation piece. I don’t know why. “Gee Tim Edward Turner, what a cheap looking wallet.”


Another instance of bad copy writing: “Match your pet’s personality with the perfect dog bed.” Is your dog a tire?


Grass?


A pile of rocks?


You can buy grandma this “beautiful” pendant. So that she can be constantly reminded that she may fall and not be able to get up.


This is just... wrong. Something is very creepy about this. Why not just buy two umbrellas?


I do enjoy that you can now purchase a spy pen, with a tiny camera in it. The best part is that they tacked on the last line, “Oh and it writes too.”


This deluxe margarita maker costs $350. Can someone please point out what makes it different than a $30 blender, except that it comes with a carrying case?


Can someone also please tell me what the country on the right is? This makes me realize that some countries/continents are not as attractively shaped as others. It also kind of looks like they are in need of that “Africa is not a country” lesson.


I seriously want this and will be obsessed with completing this giant crossword puzzle.


And finally, for Brian, your very own Bigfoot yard statue.